Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
ok first of all what the fuck
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
