Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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