I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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