I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Screwed.edu
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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