And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
