you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
