i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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