I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
