Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
