he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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