the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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