holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
