i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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