Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
