p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
