he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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