hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
