Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Everything about him screamed your future.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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