why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
