do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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