he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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