He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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