i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
