ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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