mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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