wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
