my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
