you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
