some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
