I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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