are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
