I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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