Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
