Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
