that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
then he tried to convert me to islam
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
