girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
