literally had 100 drinks last night.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
