yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
