My room smells like vodka and shame
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
