After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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