During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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