He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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