We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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