BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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