I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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