Please don't use social media to get back at me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
