I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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