wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
