Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
