I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
