party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
