so that wasnt chicken after all
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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