and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I have fence marks all over my body
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
