it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
