I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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