VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
