i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
